A Little Bit of Me….
|December 30, 2012||Posted by carmen under Breastfeeding, Natural Pregnancy and Birth|
You might not know this about me, that my background is in working in the field of natural childbirth. I was a Birthworks® certified childbirth educator, birth assistant for some amazing midwives and ceritifed lactation counselor for several years. I was blessed to work in a freestanding birth center alongside other women who supported and honored God’s design of the female body and the intricacies of the birthing process.
My hats at the birth center varied over the years as my own family grew…when I could no longer be on call to assist at births, I moved my focus to teaching classes, helping new moms with breastfeeding and assisting in the front office. No matter what hat I was wearing, no matter what role I was fulfilling, I was always blessed to be a part of a family’s childbearing experience. New life is always a new miracle, no matter how many times you experience it.
I LOVED my job, my employers, my co-workers and all the families we served. I loved being around all the pregnant mamas, expectant daddies, excited older siblings. And the thrill of when new baby arrived into the open arms of family never got old. The problem is, I loved all of that at the expense of loving my own growing family. After my 4th baby was born, I was so eager to go back to work that I did so much earlier than my husband and I had planned. I began to resent our committment to homeschooling because I would rather be at work than at home with my children. Even though I only worked a couple of days a week in the office, my heart was always there every day.
It became clear that my priorities were out of balance. With a heavy heart, I gave it all up 2 years ago. I realized that my work was holding too much of a place in my heart above and beyond my priorities as a wife and mom. I felt The Lord clearly telling me that this is the season for me to be fully at home focusing on nurturing the blessing of the family He had given me. With our committment to homeschooling our children, it was quite a burden lifted off of my shoulders to be freed from dividing my time and attention between my home and my work. But still it was an unwelcome break from doing a life work that was so fulfilling.
For a while I coped with giving up such a big part of my heart by just staying away from all birthy-related things. It was too hard to be around it without throwing my whole heart back into it. So I just put up a block and stayed away. It even was hard for a while to be around my pregnant friends. But God has done a good work in me and has blessed me abundantly in the 2 years since I have been fully at home. I am so thankful for His faithfulness! He has renewed a passion in my heart for following after Him and His plan for my life. Our plans are not always His plans. And as I’ve heard said many times, sometimes what is “good” can get in the way of what is “best.”
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